Definition of Insanity

To me, insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different outcome. I know there are more definitions and causes of insanity than that, but for this blog, this is mine.

Over the years, I have read books and books on diets and nutrition without realizing I picked a side. I looked for information that seemed to validate what I believed in the first place instead of making space to try something different.

For years, I ate what and how I believed was right, never giving it a real second thought and never thinking it might be keeping me from getting sick but surely not healthy either.

As I aged, I needed a bigger pair of pants and was throwing out sizes that I couldn't button. Shirts that my wife said looked like tube tops. Even when I buckled down, watching my diet and exercising, my weight, the shape of my body, everything stayed the same.

Then the excuses start: well, you are older and have a slow metabolism. You're older now, so you have to reduce your exercise because you're going to hurt yourself. Then you go to the doctor, and they tell you I need a pill for this and that, and your numbers are going up. Wait, the doctor says I will make you an appointment for a nutritionist. To hear all the same stuff you already believe, and it seems to have gotten me to this place of unhealthiness.

Then I had my stroke; now this unhealthiness became real. They are really pushing the pills, diet, and exercise, but the insanity continued; the only thing different was the pills.

I am a person who needs things to make sense. None of what they were telling me made sense. I came home with my pills, and I lived in a fog brought on by the pills without me knowing it for over a month. I thought I had brain damage from the stroke, only to complain to my doctor about another side effect, and they told me to take two weeks off. In three days, the fog lifted, and all side effects were gone.

Research began; I had to solve my issues differently. The doctor told me I had to reduce my numbers or risk another stroke. The gauntlet was thrown down. I had to learn how different issues create problems and how different organs create different outcomes. I had to let go of old beliefs and try different things. I started looking away from conventional thinking and beliefs and toward people who solved their own issues in their own ways. Yup, the quacks on the internet.

I started adding things to my life that I researched, and I believe that would help in all facets of my life. From exercise to diet, I have seen success. I lowered my overall weight, lowered my numbers, and I feel great. I went to the doctor, and everything has improved a lot. Like my wife told my doctor, "he is a unicorn; he will be the one to figure this out for himself."

I needed to take my power back once again, as I did with my Crohn's colitis. Repeating the same actions over and over again, looking for a different outcome, is the definition of insanity. I have to admit I got lazy; now I am pushing rock up the mountain once again, and losing weight as I do it.