I Need Permission?

I never realized how important it is to ask for permission or to want it. I am speaking in a general manner. Your whole life, from the day you were born, you were taught that you need permission.

You would ask for permission from your parents, your teachers, even your religious leaders. Even if you didn't, your punishment was there only to reinforce why you didn't get permission.

Even the old saying goes, "It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission." I don't know how many times I had ideas or thoughts, but I let them go because I hated asking for permission.

I remember how big it was to say no to surgery, and the doctor confronted me with surprise and anger. Like, "How dare you talk back to me?" Then, 6 years later, confronted me again, asking me why I was getting tests if I was not going to take medicine anyway.

Then, if you refuse to take medicine, your healthcare professional flags you as refusing treatment. I find that sad because instead of working with you, they create a parent-child dynamic where you need their permission.

Some of you reading this might think I'm not like that; I don't need anyone's permission until you do. Permission is hard-wired in our brains from a very young age. If someone asks for your permission for something, then you understand the concept, and you are getting permission from someone else as well.

I might be a fool, but I realized I would get upset when I wanted to get a doctor's permission to try something different, like diet or supplements. Then, when I tried to bring it up with them, either their 15 minutes were up, or they had no answer and said, "Well, studies say this, and gave me the same old answer that got me nowhere. Then I ask a question, knowing they had no idea what I was talking about anyway. 

I know this sounds petty because I do what I want when it comes to my health anyway. But I realized why I was so angry because they were never going to permit me in the first place. It would have undermined the psychological power of my needing their permission.